Tuesday, 5 April 2016

But… aren’t I your best friend?


I've been dumped. Or at least demoted

There’s someone else, you see. My “bestie” has found someone else.

Oddly, and in spite of how obvious it’s been, I hadn't really acknowledged this until today.  I think I was in denial, or maybe I was trying to avoid the reality, but there’s been things that, in hindsight, have SCREAMED that I am no longer number 1 (or number 2, or any single digit for that matter) in the friend department, but even so,a recent event really took the biscuit.

I mean, it really, really took the biscuit. And what’s worse, I don’t think the act was noted by the perpetrator (aka “the BFF”). I don't think they realised how what they did affected me. And whilst at first I shrugged it off, it later dawned on me – my eyes finally opened   and I realised...

 You aren't as important to this person as you were, Kartonia.

So whilst I admit, I  may have sat here for the last hour eating a box of Thornton’s continental chocolates, pondering why, how and when this happened, with old photos at my side as I reminisced  the  good times – *sniff * – I am proud to say, I have now put that box of chocolates away.
Yes, that’s right. I've moved away from the box of chocolates, straightened up and had words with myself.

"I'll find myself a new Bestie," 
Yes, that's right. I'll hold vacancies.

Apply here. 




Anyone? ... Hello?  
I'm really nice, I promise.

But, in all seriousness, the fact is, I know people grow apart, I've written about it before, but in this situation, I was the one left behind. It wasn't a mutual thing.  I'm no longer this person's first port of call, even though, they’re still mine. And that, I must admit, isn't a nice feeling.

The truth, however, is people’s tastes change (in my case, it’s more than apparent that I'm no longer top of the menu) and that’s fine. It stings, but its fine.

In these situations, you got to keep moving, keeping smiling, keep being. Immerse yourself in the things you love, and keep reaching, keep making those new connections.

Gaining and having a best friend (and by that I mean that one who you can tell everything to, someone who you cry on the phone to for a good hour without uttering a single word) is AMAZING, And anyone who has one, (and lets be honest, not everyone does, regardless of the amount of friends they may have) will tell you, if you don't know already, that the love you share, the fact that you have someone who you can be your complete and utter self around, is like magic.

But as much as society likes to shunt forth the idea that all forms of love is guaranteed -- I mean, come on. Every character in almost every film, book, and Ad seems to be submerged, if not heading for or coming out of these things -- the truth is, it isn't. It is not guaranteed.

Not everyone will find a partner in crime, or passionate love (sad, I know) whether its in an intimate manner or simply platonic. Many go through  life either not knowing it exists, (sounds bonkers, but it's true) or craving it and never getting it at all.

So I’m thankful that my bestie was my bestie for the time they chose to be, and whilst I may not be top of their list anymore, we’re still friends (I hope) just in different way. I grew with them, learnt from them, laughed with them, and now, with the gems I acquired from that level of the relationship, it’s time to move on with the change and see what’s to acquire from this new level, (even if it is a lower level)
 Because that’s what life is all about, right? Changes. And as much as we like to think that only “up” is good, “up” “down”,  “left” and “right” all have their things to gain from too. We learn and grow from them all.

Love, Kartonia

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